“Practice yourself, for heaven’s sake in little things, and then proceed to greater.” ~ Epictetus
I’m working on taking pleasure in the little triumphs, in meaningful, if small accomplishments by acknowledging them, celebrating them. One symptom of depression that I’ve experienced many times is called “anhedonia,” which is a lack of pleasure or the capacity to experience pleasure. It means it’s hard to enjoy anything or feel pleasure, so just the desire to experience pleasure is something I celebrate as an accomplishment, as a moving forward.
I’m working to try to achieve some degree of life-work balance, where life is the priority and work is, as Bob Goff says, fundraising for other things. I’m a workaholic. Almost everybody who knows me knows that. So, I’m proud that this week I turned down several hours of recurring overtime AND at the same time acknowledged that the reason I was doing so was to make a wise, healthy decision, and to prevent further burnout.
I tend to react pretty quickly when I read e-mails at work, so this week, I’m proud that I was able to keep things in perspective for the most part. I reminded myself by looking at a little Dilbert comic that I printed out that everybody acts irrationally sometimes, that I shouldn’t take things personally, and that keeping things in perspective is healthy.
A couple weeks ago, I started considering schedule change options at work, but it’s a very complicated thing. I started to give up and just say, never mind, but then I stopped myself and said, hey, wait, no, this is worth it. It’s worth figuring out what schedule you want and asking for it. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be better. And even if the request doesn’t work out, at least I followed through and asked for it. I didn’t let anxiety and frustration defeat my desire before I even expressed and acknowledged it fully.
I’ve chosen a few simple, purposeful ways to act meaningfully, kindly, and lovingly to serve others while acknowledging that I’m incapable of saving anyone, but I can help meet their needs within what means I have. I started writing, and I’ve kept at it each day for several days in a row. I did some artistic wrangling with some photos that had been long stagnant. Thanks for reading and for being part of my triumphs this week!
“If you think of something, do it. Plenty of people often think, ‘I’d like to do this, or that.'” ~ Lydia Davis