Turn back (oh man) (Thanks, Godspell.) (Or scripture.)

So, look, I started out with all these draft posts and published nothing but an About page that I’m sure I’ll edit over and over again. One of my drafts was even about starting, yet I didn’t really start beyond getting the domain-type stuff in order. I put the details in front of the good stuff! So, I decided I better turn back and get off the stupid, lame horse of pride and perfectionism, and just start letting my fingers fly.

The good stuff is the writing, I hope. Not to put my writing on a pedestal kind of good stuff. But the stuff I’m here to do, the reason the details were put into place, the stuff that actually matters, the working through of things as I write.

I’m here to be vulnerable, to be honest, to be authentic, and at least two of those are things that I’m pretty awful at a lot of the time.

I’m tired of bible studies, of church services that feel more like the Sanhedrin or the Pharisees than they do the little ones or the disciples crowded around Jesus. I’m tired of feeling stuck in my job, in my life, in my heart. I’m tired of not being more awesome, of living life overwhelmed, beat down, bummed out.

So, I’m working on making new choices and living a new story. I’m working on finding the passions and dreams that depression has kept hidden from me and that I’ve let hide. I’m looking for new characters who want to join me in doing life, who want to seek adventure, who want to love as an action and not just a weird abstract. I want whimsy, adventure, and awesomeness. It’s not the first new beginning, but it’s the best one yet.

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